14 April 2010

Always the New Girl

Since we've been at this duty station, my husband has been passed back and forth between units a total of 3 times. Besides it being frustrating for him at work, in social terms, it's like we've PCSed every year.  In other words, I did not have the chance to make any lasting relationships/friendships in our command before we were passed off to the next and I had to start all over again.  The fact that we do not live on base, do not have kids and I've never have been the most outgoing type doesn't help much. 

With this deployment, for the first time I am part of an active spouse network in our current unit, despite being the new girl in a group that seems they've been together more consistently.  Now that we are not moving, when my husband returns we will most likely be transferred to another unit.  It is frustrating and exhausting.  It is difficult to break through and be accepted as a member of the group, no matter how welcoming the people are.  Needless to say, it has been difficult and sometimes I feel it’s easier to not even try no matter how much I want to be involved.  Regardless, I still try and probably will continue, because I want to have a good experience.  It’s nice to have friends that understand what you're going through and be part of a community, reminiscent of shows like Army wives (I confess I’ve never really watched, maybe I'll start).  Maybe the whole living off base is a factor?  I'm sure the question of living on/off base could be debated in length, maybe that can be saved for another time.

Since this is our first duty station, I don't have a reference point to compare.  I’m hoping our next duty station will prove a little more stable, as stable as you can expect in military life. I know our life requires we move around, but it would be nice to be stationary for the short time we are in a given place.

3 comments:

Reina said...

Thanks for following mine! I'm following yours too!
I know how it is with being new, over and over again. You don't have to cut yourself off from the other girls you meet along the way! Think of it as building a bigger base of friends to pull together. Even if you're not in the unit, you can still hang out! :D

[Briar] . Designs said...

I live off base too, so I understand what you're going through.

navywife24 said...

I'm sorry hun!! hopefully things will get easier...and trust me I know how you feel!! I don't live on base either,actually not even close to one. I stayed in our hometown in Cali rather than move to Va and be all alone while my hubbys deployed. It sucks cause theres no one here who really knows what I'm going through, but luckily I have a good friend who's husband is also in the navy and is stationed at pendelton, so shes been a big help in cheering me up and giving me advice. Just try not to worry about moving around too much and focus on creating the friendships with people in your spouse network. :) good luck and have a great day!!

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