25 March 2010

I had a bad day

For some reason I was under the impression I would have a ton of time on my hands during this deployment... it turns out I was wrong. (At least so far) Everyone told me it's so important to keep busy and the time will fly. I really want the time to fly, believe me, but now I'm so busy that I'm actually getting stressed out. I hate that. Now I'm feeling the stress of the deployment, of missing my husband added to this stress of everything I'm supposed to be doing.

I guess I hadn't taken into account how I would be doing everything I normally do, plus the things my husband usually did, while taking on expectations of others that just assume I must have all the time in the world now.
The only reason I am getting this post in tonight is I can't sleep. Of course I know the lack of sleep doesn't help either. But I think that’s a whole separate post.

In reality I know my magnified emotions are the major factor causing my high stress level. Normal tasks seem just a little bit harder since I feel on edge and emotional exhausted.
I really miss him right now. I’m a little worried, since it’s only been about a month.

Today was just not my day. Hopefully tomorrow is better. I think I just need to take some time for myself.


HellcatBetty said...

Honey, don't be worried, it's totally normal. I think the first 2 months and the last 2 months of deployments are the hardest. For the first 2, you are still grappling with things that remind you of his absence and you're establishing a new routine and a new temporary life. For the last 2 you're painfully aware that the end is near but it's not here yet. Just give yourself time to sit and cry if that's what you need to do. Then suck it up and move forward. There's always help here if you need it :)

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